TEXTO I

The boomerang kids: when you are worried they won’t leave home

Offra Gerstein

Many of today’s adult children are not in a hurry to leave home, as compared to the youth of previous generations. This new behavior pattern is often very bewildering and sometimes worrisome to parents. Today, many 18 to 28 year olds either never left home, or returned after college. This phenomenon has been termed “emerging adulthood” and the young adults are referred to as either “kidults” or “boomerang kids”.

A recent story in Time magazine reflected a wide spectrum of perspectives from researchers ranging from those who say the current generation’s young adults are lazy, confused and unmotivated, and those who call them serious about their futures and cautiously exploring various career paths on their way to the “right” one.

My experience is with a select group of people involved in this problem, who are concerned, doting, loving and involved parents. These parents devote themselves to parenthood and make their children the center of their lives. They expect that upon high school graduation their children would either go to college or to work.

I call these young people “The Children of Privilege”. They grew up in comfortable homes with all the amenities. They were supported, loved and provided for generously. It never occurred to them that their lifestyle was a privilege — not a lifetime right.

In the process of providing their children with everything they possibly could, some parents neglected to guide their children in several areas. They were lax about teaching independent skills and communal responsibility, for example.

Many parents expect children to feed the dog, make their bed or help with the dishes. However, this list of chores is often short compared to the real tasks of independent living. Few parents expect children to learn to iron clothes, cook or even do their own laundry. The common reason given is that the children’s main job is their education. That is true. But why do we expect the young people to magically have practical life skills at 18 or 22 without practice? How can they feel confident in venturing into the world on their own?

These children also lack guidance about communal responsibilities. The idea that each individual must contribute significantly, not just symbolically, to the family with whom he lives is alien to many young adults. Why is it that a teenager is exempt from cleaning the shared bathroom, or changing the linens of all beds, or emptying all trash cans in the home, not just his own?

Growing into adulthood is an important stage in anyone’s life. It is up to parents to help and guide their kids towards independence. Occasionally, maturation will occur and only then will young adults be fully capable of taking hold of their own lives so as to create their own futures.

(www.santacruzsentinel.com)

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